Trebuchet List: Addendum and Staffing

By | March 23, 2010

Three items of note for the operation of the list.

1. The Trebuchet List has formally acquired two Delegated Authorities.  Qualifications for the position are quite simple

  • First is the ability to tell when I’m about to do something list worthy, as opposed to just something untoward, out of the ordinary or plain career limiting
  • Second, is the gift of pro-active hindsight which means that when I ask “What’s the worst that can happen?” you already have an answer, and two “Not quite worst” and one “Pretty bad all things considered” answer ready.
  • Third, you have to be someone I’d trust to confiscate a giant rock throwing device from me, and not just point out really aerodynamically shaped rocks .
  • Fourth, you’ll need to to like the idea of me, humanity, the time space continuum and most of the laws of physics getting on with each other, playing nicely, and not teaming up with the Theory of Evolution to see what we can make this time.

Humanity, I’d like to introduce your saviours, the Daring Weaverandom and the Erstwhile Jennifergearing.  Guardians of the List, and the people who stand between me and my overwhelming desire to give into temptation (and throw rocks at things).

2. Revocation Parameters

The Trebuchet list may be revoked in the event of

a) war

a)1) Exclusion: If I started the war, I’m not allowed to revoke the list.

a)2) Even if Mars totally had it coming. I mean, really, what are the odds?

b) zombie, zombie apocalypse or similar undead risings (Werewolf uprising, vampire takeover, or the full reunion of the Beatles)

b)1) This does not include live action simulations such as Humans versus Zombies unless there are actual zombies.

b)2) Where the zombie apocalypse is self contained within a universe such as a video game (L4D, L4D2), iPod (Plants v. Zombies) alternate reality (multiverses) or holodecks, the restrictions are lifted for that environment. I can’t fire up Plants v. Zombies for the express purpose of a 20 minute rock chucking spree

b)3) If I started the zombie apocalypse, I don’t think I’m going to be that worried about people looking cross that I’m running around with trebuchets.  There may be other things to worry about them being cross about (like the loss of the internet, or spoilers for the ending of Lost)

c) national emergencies where the capacity to fling things at other things becomes vitally useful.

c)1)TOM-ART-OH!

c)2) TOE-MA-TOE.

c)3)Exemption: If I cause the national emergency by owning or using something on the list, it’s far too meta and we’ll have to call the whole thing off.

3. Updates and Patches

39. Prohibited Object (Objet d’art): Rolf Harris or related accessories: It’s for the best really. I have no need for a wobble board, third leg or excuses to sing about kangaroos in bondage.

40. Prohibited Object (Scheme): Any plan which starts with the words ““After the Ethics Committee rejects the application.

34. Prohibited Object (Class): Musicals. Clarification: I am not permitted to own and/or operate a musical.  This includes the commisisonining, writing, production or starring in an musical which is about me, my life, or the list. (Declaration of Conflict: Musical numbers tend to spontaneous happen around me, and that’s just a force of nature to be dealt with as appropriate. As appropriate does not usually involve fire.)

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