It’s patch day on the #Trebuchetlist
42. Prohibited Object: The Answer and/or the Question. Either and definitely both. No way am I to be trusted with that particularly piece of data and/or query string.
42.A: Exemption: 6 x 9
43. Prohibited Object (class): Any device specifically commissioned for the propulsion of any aquatic animal by any means.
43.A. Specification: Squid dispenser utilising gravitational launch mechanism for the purposes of attacking someone with a flying squid are the reason this rule exists, so they’re definitely on the list.
44. Prohibited Object (genre):Plans for World Domination: Just because I never intend on going through with any scheme for conquering the world due to appropriate levels of laziness and a deep dislike of paperwork doesn’t mean I should let myself randomly generate plans for conquering the world. Particularly not since I write strategy books in my spare time, and I apply the S.M.A.R.T. principles to the draft notes for taking over the world. Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timetabled are not words most people want to hear in the same context as “World domination” and “$tephen”.
44.A. Exemption: Consultancy, contract work or work for hire projects.
44.B. Exemption: Conquering of Europe. Everyone needs a hobby.
45. Prohibited Activity (category): Self esteem development exercises including hypnotherapy.
45.A. Clarification: I am pretty damn awesome thank you kindly, and I know it.
45.B. Clarification: And frankly, I love it.
45.C. Clarification: If I didn’t think I was something pretty damn good, do you think I’d need a list of prohibited things like this one? Hell no. This list exists because I am so confident in my own ability to create mayhem that I’ve put limits on myself knowing full well that I can out-awesome this list should it be necessary. For I am me, and I rock this casbah at Sharif-disapproved levels.
46. Prohibited Conduct (activity): Forming a religion based on my own teachings including pretending to be a god, accepting responsibility for divine events by implication, omission or direct credit.
46.A. Exclusion: If asked directly, the answer shall always be yes. It’s the right thing to do in the circumstance.
