79. Prohibited Conduct (activity): No longer permitted to design exams on survival of the fittest principles
- 79.A. Clarification: Exams are to remain solo processes, and may not be group based activity, nor elimination based activity.
- 79.B. Clarification: No longer permitted to design an exam based on the rule set for Battle Royale, Hunger Games or equivalent last-person-standing environment event. Even if I did work out how to make it non fatal.
- 79.C. Extension: 79.B. includes scenarios of fatal and non fatal outcomes.
- 79.D. Extension: May not design an exam to operate under Royal Rumble rule sets. Over the top rope elimination is not a valid exam answer.
- 79.E. Clarification: May not allow students to vote for options 79.A. to 79.D and claim “It wasn’t my doing”
80. Prohibited Event (category): The Singularity.
- 80.A. Purely Coincidental: No longer permitted to intern at CERN or the LHC or CSIRO or equivalent science faculties
81.. Prohibited Object (limited use): Only permitted to own and operate superglue according to the manual, or within a range of parameters known as “appropriate use”
- 81.A. Clarification: Gluing other staff to presentation lecterns is not appropriate use of super glue.
- 81.A. Extension: Item 81.A. still applies in the event of a request from anyone else.
82.Prohibited Activity (Implications): May no longer imply that I have psychic powers, telepathy or tele-empathy.
- 82.A.: This is an extension of Item 46, and Item 28
- 82.B: Clarification: This does not prevent telepathic events, telempathy or similar manipulations of reality to pass messages over TCP/Psyche. It just stops me from being able to hint that I can do it in a manner that unnerves people around me.
- 83.C. Extension: May not claim to have tele-apathy (the ability to remove motivation from the minds of others) or teleapocathery (ability to smell like a herbalist store in the minds of others) or teleolfactory (the ability to invoke aromas in someone else’s sense of smell by projected thought)
83. Prohibited Skill Set (Class): Psychology, psychology training, becoming a registered psychologist or equivalent.
- 83A: Explanation: knowing Psychology doesn’t make you a master of mind control, but knowing psychology on top of knowing consumer behaviour, advertising, management theory and education theory is just getting too close to overload.
- 83.B. “Crossing the streams Rule”: The trebuchet list shall be invoked as a mechanism to prohibit a potential signal overload in a knowledge base area. Basically, someone has to get a hobby outside his core thought set on “How do people’s minds work?” before he gets to the point that he puts his own thinking on manual.
84. Prohibited Activity (TV): Macguffin centric television shows with a temporal travel theme and a quasi-science fiction theme
- 84A: Not permitted to watch the Dr Who series after spending way too much time driving London Double Decker buses the plot holes
- 84.b. Also not permitted to use knowledge of temporal continuity routing errors to bypass plot limitations
85. Prohibited Activity (Thought Exercises): No longer permitted to create thought scenarios to sidestep the established rules of a genre, literary convention or established TV show myth arc.
- 85.A. Exemption: Still allowed to figure out how to kill every cinematic villain / monster / evil of the week encountered as long as I’m polite, professional and efficient about it.
86. Prohibited Conduct (Hypothetical): No longer allowed to try to scout out the parameters of the Trebuchet list by “asking for a friend” or confirming that “in a hypothetical situation…” something is permissible
- 86.A. Clarification: This item is an extension of the Automatic Right of Trebuchet Rule
87. Prohibited Conduct (Training): No longer allowed to teach the Assassin’s Creed as an assessment item.
- 87.A. Clarification: Turns out somethings are true, and other things are non permitted according to Academic Assessment Board.
88. Prohibited Activity (J’Accuse): Not permitted to accuse the Academic Assessment Board of being Templars.
88.A. Even if they are.
89. Prohibited Activity (action): No longer permitted to insist that my staff photo be covered on the school website or physical bulletin board on the grounds that “Seeing my own image would cause me to age tremendously immediately”
- 89.A. See related rule 20.C.
Updates to the list
1. Prohibited Object: A Trebuchet: Firing arcs, accuracy, and an ability to fling objects from Point A to Point C clean over the top of Point B means I’ll get into trouble of the quite difficult to explain in court variety. This was swiftly upgraded to include mangonels since they’re a very specific form of object flinging technology. A later expansion of the rule included any form of ancient siege weapon including catapults, wolfapults or nearest equivalent technology. It makes certain periods in Empire Earth quite complicated.
- 1A. Exemption: In times of war, zombies or national emergencies where the capacity to fling things at other things becomes vitally useful, this rule is suspended for the entirety of the emergency, plus twenty minutes.
- 1B. Exemption: Trebuchet MS. I can’t believe nobody noticed the entire Trebuchet list was in the Trebuchet font.
- 1C. Exemption: Any history RTS. Seriously, I now refuse to go through the entire period of everyone having castles whilst I have a prohibition on siege weapons. This will henceforth be known as the “Lord Riffington Exemption” since he kept invoking the trebuchet list in RTS matches.
- 1C.i: Even if I do tend to not build the siege factory in Empire Earth out of habit.
- 1D: Clarification: The category of arc fired, non-direct line of sight weaponry requires the weapons to be launched from the ground. Ground launched over the horizon payload delivery includes but is not limited to rocket launchers, siege weapons (classic) and shoulder mounted/ground based vehicle mounted equipment. Anything fired from a flying platform is probably covered elsewhere.
- 1.E.: The “Lord Riffington Exemption”: This exemption applies to prohibit Riff from invoking the Trebuchet List to deny me access to a specific listed technology or win condition will engaged in video game, board game or equivalent simulation battle. So nyah!
6. Prohibited Activity: Karoke. It’s a weapon of mass destruction in my hands. My singing isn’t just flat, it’s flatlined, I’m tone deaf and I have no ability to keep to linear time. Plus, since I don’t drink, I’m always too sober to do pub karoke. No matter what certain people said.
- 6A. Exemption: Spoken word recitals. REVOKED. There was an incident.
- 6B. Exemption: The Muppet Show Theme song
- 6C. Exemption: Driving Redbird if, and only if, accompanied by an authorised representative of the Trebuchet List.
- 6D. Clarification: This now extends to all video games that have singing as a component (eg Rockband, Guitar Hero, Voice of the Damned).
19. Prohibited Object (Payment Schemes): Demon pacts, or related deals with devil(s) up to and including buying, leasing, renting or reselling souls.
- 19.A. Exemption: I’m allowed to sign contracts of service, work for hire, and consultancy agreements as long as I’m paid in cash or direct deposit.
- 19.B. Clarification: I may no longer accept souls of the damned as currency. They can use Paypal like anyone else thank you very much.
- 19.C. Clarification: Despite recent changes to the PayPal terms of service, they don’t actually take the souls of the damned as credit.
- 19.D. Expansion: Cthulhu or related old ones. No summoning ineffable horrors of the deep.
- 19.E. Expansion: No longer permitted to attempt to domesticate any religious icon, deity or ineffable ethereal being
- 19.F. Expansion: No longer permitted to attempt to domesticate any sacrilegious icon, deity or ineffable ethereal being
- 19.G. Clarification: Also not permitted to succeed in domesticating and house training anything covered by 19.E. and 19.F.
28. Prohibited Activity: Mind reading including thought projection, thought reading, image projection and embedded mental commands. Think about it, and I’ll know why you…wait, forget I said that.
- 28A. Exemption: Trivia Pursuit Nights
- 28B. Exemption: Finishing other people’s sentences and/or answering questions before they have been asked (See 28D).
- 28C. Exemption: Controlling aquatic creatures.
- 28.D. Exemption: Proactively answering student questions before they’ve asked them, or while they’re thinking about them. Sometimes you just know from experience, other times you just know because nobody teaches basic shielding in high school anymore.
- 28.E. Connection: See also Item 82.
40. Prohibited Object (Scheme): Any plan which starts with the words “After the Ethics Committee rejects the application” .
- 40.A. Exemption: Nil
- 40.B. Extension: This includes coauthorships as well as individual work.
43. Prohibited Object (class): Any device specifically commissioned for the propulsion of any aquatic animal by any means.
- 43.A. Specification: Squid dispenser utilising gravitational launch mechanism for the purposes of attacking someone with a flying squid are the reason this rule exists, so they’re definitely on the list.
- 43.B. Clarification: Penguins do not count for the purpose of this list.
46. Prohibited Conduct (activity): Forming a religion based on my own teachings including pretending to be a god, accepting responsibility for divine events by implication, omission or direct credit.
- 46.A. Exclusion: If asked directly, the answer shall always be yes. It’s the right thing to do in the circumstance.
- 46.B. Exclusion: I may pray to myself to seek my own intervention into my own affairs.
- 46.C. Clarification: I may no longer claim credit for certain outcomes even if they are deemed to be my fault by general consensus of people who’d know it was my doing. I prefer not to brag about it..
- 46.D. Exemption: See 45.D.
- 46.E. Clarification to 46.B: I am not permit to construct temples, altars or other objects that could facilitate 46.B
- 46.F. Exclusion: In the event of discovering of someone else forming a religion that would be restricted by Item 46 and its sub parts, I am not obligated to persuade them not to follow their own teachings.
- 46.G.. Inclusion: I may not heavily hint, suggest, encourage or otherwise facilitate 46.F.
- 46.H. Clarification: Merely appearing in people’s dreams does not constitute a holy vision.
- 46.I. Clarification: Actively heading over to someone else’s dreams with instructions to act in a manner that would facilitate 46.G, 46.F. or 46.E. is now expressly prohibited.
Also, put that damn spinning top away.
49. Prohibited Conduct (activity): Homeopathy. Knowing my luck, it’d probably work.
- 49.A Clarification: May not hand out infuser watter bottles whilst claiming that it’s homeopathic coffee.
- 49.B Clarification: May not charge extra for the homeopathic coffee with two sugars
- 49.C. Extension: Homeopathic exam advice, homeopathic cheat sheets and homeopathic higher education courses are now restricted to “once per university”.
53. Prohibited Object (Class) Throwing weapons
- 53.A. Clarification: Most recommended survival knives and Throwing knives
- 53.B. Extension: Throwing forks and throwing spoons
- 53.C Exemption: Throwing sporks
- 53.D. Exemption: Foam based weapons under the “legitimate use rule” and “LARP” rule
- 53.E. Exemption: cards are not weapons. (who just said yet?)
76. Prohibited Object (Class): Named rings. Rings that have an ability that require catchphrases to activate
- 76.A. Extension: Rings with latin engraving, elvish runes (the car owns that one), or need to be set on fire to unlock the passwords (seriously, not cool).
- 76.B. Exclusion: Any ring with embedded onyx.
- 51.A. Exemption: Replica Green Lantern Power rings
- 76.C. Extension: No longer permitted to craft energy rings / magic rings
- 76.D. Extension to 76.C. No longer permitted to create complicated multi-level power ring structure with sub divisions of powers, and complicated contractual arrangements that result in eternal soul binding of ring owners.
- 76.E. Exclusion: May continue to enhance or enchant rings through embedded stress energy management. It’s still better than the alternatives.
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